The world has likely instilled in you the importance of passion and persistence. Grit is embedded in our cultural aphorisms, from British “Keep Calm and Carry On” to the American adage “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
Success—in life, in work, in creative pursuits—is synonymous with keeping our noses to the grindstone as we rack up the requisite 10,000 hours that Malcolm Gladwell popularized.
There are many reasons to celebrate grit. The things that we value most, from meaningful relationships to professional triumphs, require us to persist through challenging times. Thomas Edison reportedly churned out more than 1,000 unsuccessful prototypes before inventing a working light bulb. Where would we be if he threw up his hands after failure number 500?
Despite its many virtues, though, it is possible to overvalue grittiness. Just as important as the discipline to grit is the self-awareness to know when to quit.
Perseverance is a necessary ingredient for human thriving, but we must be thoughtful about what we’re persevering at and why. There’s nothing admirable about working doggedly toward a goal that no longer matters to you, and there’s nothing shameful about reevaluating your path.
Whether it means ending a relationship that you’ve invested years in, shelving a screenplay that’s just not working, or just choosing to maintain your work-life balance and leave the office on time the night before a big presentation, the choice not to grit it out can be a very difficult one.
No one wants to feel like a quitter, and it’s especially hard to step back from something we’ve come to see as integral to our identity. But not all goals are attainable, and many can cost us dearly in other aspects of our lives. If a longstanding commitment no longer feels rewarding to you, take those feelings seriously.
Consider the following questions:
- What opportunities will I give up if I pursue this?
- Does this reflect what is important to me (my values)?
- Does this draw on my strengths?
- Deep down, do I truly believe this can be a success?
- Does this bring me joy or satisfaction?
- Am I demonstrating grit, or am I being obstinate?
Consider who it is that you want to be, and where it is that you want to go. Quitting can be a hard choice to make, but often it’s a brave one, as well.
Susan David
Susan David, Ph.D. is one of the world’s leading management thinkers and an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist. Her TED Talk on the topic of emotional agility has been seen by more than 10 million people. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times, Washington Post, and Wall Street Journal and often appears on national radio and television. Learn more.
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